The surrender we experience in Step One, coupled with the hope and belief we find in Step Two, make us ready and willing to continue on the path toward freedom in Narcotics Anonymous. In Step Three, we put our belief in a Higher Power into action, making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the God of our understanding.
Essential to working the Third Step is our willingness to allow the God of our understanding to work in our lives. We develop this willingness over time. The willingness we experience in our early recovery is valuable even though we may be willing only to a certain degree. Although this may feel like unconditional willingness, many of us have discovered that our willingness grew as we learned to trust a Power greater than ourselves.
The decision we make in Step Three requires that we move away from our self-will. Self-will is composed of such characteristics as closed-mindedness, unwillingness, seif-centeredness, and outright defiance. Our self-centered obsession and its accompanying insanity have made our lives unmanageable. Acting on our self-will has kept us trapped in a continuous cycle of fear and pain. We wore ourselves out in fruitless attempts to control everyone and everything.
We couldn't just allow events to happen. We were always on the lookout for ways we could force things to go as we wanted. When we first look at making the decision called for in this step, we are likely to have questions. uncertainty, and even fear about what we are being asked to do. We might wonder why we need to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the God of our understanding. Or we may wonder what will happen to us if we place ourselves in God's care. We may fear that we won't be happy with what our lives will be like after working this step.
When we trust that there is growth in taking action despite our fear or uncertainty, we are able to work Step Three. Even though we do not know how our lives will change as we work this step, we can learn to trust that our Higher Power will care for us better than we could. The Third Step is our commitment to our own emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
What began in the Second Step as belief in a Higher Power can become a fuller relationship with a God of our understanding in Step Three. The decision that we make by working this step. and the relationship that results, will revolutionize our existence.
This decision is easier to make than to live by. We can easily lapse into old behavior; it takes determination, time, and courage to change. Because we're not perfect. we simply continue to reaffirm our decision on a regular basis and then do the very best we can to live by it. Complete and unconditional surrender of our will and our lives is an ideal we strive to fulfill. Although we don't become perfect, we do make a profound change by working this step. We are making a serious effort to live differently than we have in the past. From now on, we are going to be practicing this decision, and the way we relate to the world around us can change radically as a result.
In working Step Three, we begin to learn how to stop struggling. We learn to let go and trust the God of our understanding. If we take time to think and seek direction before acting, we no longer have to run on our own self-centered will. Turning our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power provides a solution to the problems created by a life based in self-will, resentment. and control.
The spiritual principles we are practicing will guide us, not just in the Third Step but throughout our recovery. The first three steps provide us with the solid spiritual foundation we will need to work the rest of the steps. We keep our initial surrender alive by actively practicing the faith and willingness required to work the Third Step. In other words, we've admitted our powerlessness and inability to manage our own lives; we've come to believe; now we need to surrender to the care of the God of our understanding. We may find the willingness to work the Third Step by remembering where we came from and believing that where we are going is certain to be quite different. Though we don't know what this "difference" will entail, we know that it is sure to be better than what we've had in the past. We rely on our faith and believe that this decision is one of the best decisions we've ever made.
Turning our will and our lives over to the care of the God of our understanding is a tremendous decision. We may very well wonder exactly how we are supposed to put this decision into practice. Because our individual beliefs about a Power greater than ourselves vary, there is no uniform way to put our decision into action. However, we have found some ways we all can use to find a personal understanding of the Third Step. One is to continue our efforts to develop a personal relationship with a God of our understanding. Another is to give up our efforts at controlling everything around us. We relax our grip on the burdens we've been carrying and turn them over to the care of a Higher Power. Yet another way we can practice our Third Step decision is to continue with our recovery by working the remainder of the steps. Our sponsor will guide us in applying the spiritual principles of recovery, showing us how to shift our focus away from our own self-interest and toward a more spiritually centered life.
As we get ready to make this decision. we talk with our sponsor, go to step meetings, and take the opportunity to share about it with other NA members. We gather as much knowledge. insight, and experience as we can from these sources, and then we make our own decision. No one can do it for us; we must consciously decide to do this for ourselves.
Of course, this is not a decision we make solely with our intellect. In truth, this is a choice we make with our hearts, a decision based much more in feeling and desire than in deliberate reasoning. Though the path from mind to heart seems a difficult one. formally working this step with our sponsor seems to help us make this decision a part of who we are.
The search for a God of our own understanding is one of the most important efforts we will undertake in our recovery. We have complete personal choice and freedom in how we understand our Higher Power. We can each find a Higher Power that does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Because we are powerless over our addiction, we need a Power greater than ourselves to help us.
Just as our freedom to have a God of our own understanding is unlimited, so is our freedom to communicate with our Higher Power in whatever ways work for us. Anytime we communicate with our Higher Power, whether it's simply with our thoughts or aloud at the close of a meeting, we are praying. Most of us ask our Higher Power for direction on a daily basis. Our relationship with our Higher Power grows stronger as we practice faith. In our experience. talking to a Power greater than ourselves works. When we are having trouble in a particular area of our lives or when we feel unable to stay clean, our Higher Power can help; we only need to ask. With our prayers, we ask a Power greater than ourselves to care for us. Each time we take this action. we strengthen our faith and our decision to rely on our Higher Power.
Step Three doesn't free us from having to take action, but it does liberate us from excessive worry about the results. If we want something-a job, an education, recovery-we have to make the effort to get it. Our Higher Power will take care of our spiritual needs, but we need to participate in our own lives; we can't simply sit back and expect God to do everything. We are responsible for our recovery.
Our lives are meant to be lived. No matter how sincere our efforts at "turning it over," we will make mistakes, wander off course, and experience moments of doubt. However, with each setback we are given a new opportunity to renew our commitment to live by spiritual principles. Part of the process of surrendering to God's will is to surrender to spiritual principles such as honesty, open-mindedness, willingness, trust, and faith. We try to align our actions with what we believe our Higher Power would want for us, and then we deal with life as it happens.
We may hesitate to work Step Three in all areas of our lives, especially in matters we want to control. Our experience has been that we tend to hold on to certain areas. Perhaps we think, "I can control my finances just fine" or "My relationship is working; why do I need to turn that over to the care of my Higher Power?" Working Step Three only in certain areas of our lives short-circuits our spiritual development. We have found that our recovery benefits when we practice the principle of surrender, to the best of our ability, in all areas of our lives. We strive to work this step thoroughly.
We begin to see positive results from the decision we have made. We begin to notice changes. While the circumstances of our lives may not change, the way we deal with those circumstances does. Because we have made the decision to allow spiritual principles to work in our lives, we may notice a sense of relief. We are being relieved of a burden we've carried far too long: the need to control everything and everyone. We begin to react differently to the situations and people around us. As we gain acceptance, we cease to struggle against life on life's terms. Striving to maintain and build on our surrender, we are better able to live and enjoy life in the moment.
For some of us, deciding to turn our will and lives over to the care of the God of our understanding is a process, not an event. However, in making that decision, we do make a commitment to practice this step in our lives. When we are tempted to manipulate a situation, we recall this decision and let go. When we catch ourselves attempting to exert control over someone or something, we stop and instead ask a loving God to help us work this step.
Relinquishing control is not easy, but we can do it with help. With guidance from our sponsor and daily practice, we are sure to find ourselves learning how to get our egos out of the way so our Higher Power can work in our lives. Each time we are fearful over a situation, we can turn to this step and find the means to walk through our fear without resorting to our old ways.
Recovery doesn't exempt us from having to live through painful situations. At some point in our lives, we may have to mourn the death of a loved one or deal with the end of a relationship. When such things happen to us, we hurt, and no amount of spiritual awareness will take our pain away. We do find, however, that the caring presence of a loving Power greater than ourselves will help us get through our pain clean. We may find that we are able to feel our Higher Power's presence in the group, in our friends, or in talking to our sponsor. By tapping into that Power, we begin to trust and rely on it. We can cease questioning why painful things happen and trust that walking through the difficult times in our lives can strengthen our recovery. We can grow in spite of our pain or. perhaps, in response to it.
Recovery is a process of discovery. We learn about ourselves, and we learn how to cope with the world around us. When we are sincere in our desire to allow our Higher Power to care for us. we begin to gain a sense of serenity. We notice a gradual change in our thinking. Our attitudes and ideas become more positive. Our world is no longer as distorted by selfpity, denial, and resentment. We are beginning to replace those old attitudes with honesty, faith, and responsibility; as a result. we begin to see our world in a better light. Our lives are guided by our emerging integrity. Even though we make mistakes, we become more willing to take responsibility for our actions. We learn that we don't have to be perfect to live a spiritual life. When we work Step Three with an open mind and heart, we find the results are far beyond our expectations.
As we experience this new way of life, we begin to realize that recovery is a priceless gift. We learn to trust; as we do, we open the doors to intimacy and develop new relationships. Where once we focused only on not using. we now can appreciate the many things that make our lives so valuable. We savor the laughter and the joy we hear expressed so abundantly in our meetings. As recovery becomes more central in our lives and we internalize the principles embodied in the steps, our view of the world changes profoundly. As our awareness grows, so does our appreciation and faith in our Higher Power.
If we pause to reflect on our lives at this stage of our recovery, we will see that we have experienced dramatic personal growth. The relief we experience as a result of working the first three steps is only a glimpse of the growth we can experience through working the Twelve Steps.
The role of the Third Step expands in our lives as we continue working the other steps. Step Eleven asks us to pray for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry it out. Step Three begins this process; it is here that we start to seek God's will for us. Moving from a self-seeking life to a life based on spiritual principles requires us to change profoundly. With the help of a loving God, we are ready to move forward on our journey. This is a twelve-step program, not a three-step program. The decision we've made in the Third Step is perhaps the most momentous decision we'll ever make in our lives, but we need to work the rest of the steps for it to remain meaningful. There is more work to do. We have found that the spiritual path set forth in the Twelve Steps is the only way to recovery in Narcotics Anonymous. Putting our recovery commitment into action. we work Step Four.
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Retrieved from: - It Works How & Why - Step 3 by nipntuk Dec 20, 2003 at 03:11 PM